


The trials and ordeals of Tsukishima Kei

by goldontheceilingg



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (barely), Blushing, Blushing Tsukki, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Tsukki deals with feelings badly, Yamaguchi's freckles, everyone blushes, large amounts of fluff, small amounts of angst, virgins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2018-05-01 15:43:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5211464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldontheceilingg/pseuds/goldontheceilingg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima was pretty sure that he could overcome this. It was just a dream. He was 6' 2" for god sake! He didn't get intimidated. Especially not by figments of his unconscious imagination. </p><p>(Tsukki has a sex dream starring Yamaguchi. It turns into a thing)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Dream

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is just Tsukki's dream, I think there'll be two or three more chapters afterwards about how everything plays out.
> 
> (everyone else will come in next chapter)
> 
> ((don't worry the last one will involve Tsukki and Yama getting it on))

_Tsukishima is fighting a losing battle. Above all, he always strives to keep his composure, remain unaffected. This, however, is easier said than done with a lap full of freckled sex demon attacking his neck with enthusiasm. Tsukishima also recognises that it may be easier to logically think through and deal with the situation if he had a bit more blood in places north of his dick. His brain, for example._

_His inner musings are cut short by a breathy moan sent directly into his ear._

_"Tsukki..."_

_Yamaguchi pulls back and those wide, innocent eyes are hooded and if anyone had said to Tsukishima yesterday that Yamaguchi was capable of pulling off bedroom eyes he would have laughed in their face but- the joke's clearly on him because he's pretty sure that the eyes locked on his right now could convey the message of any sexual act imaginable. With ease. Moving his hands further down to cup his best friend's ass, Tsukishima is aware that he's pretty much making Yamaguchi do all the work here, but equally is feeling too blissed out to care._

_A sudden hitch of breath into his neck signals that Yamaguchi is in about the same place. Through his haze of shitsoclosesoclosejustabitmore Tsukishima realises that the shaking mess on top of him is pretty much running on empty after grinding into him with such gusto for however long they've been at it. Feeling like the least he could do after being so passive all this time is help Yamaguchi over the edge he was clearly at, Tsukshima uses his superior strength to stop the slightly frenzied movements of his friend's hips and rolls his own upwards in one firm, harsh movement._

_In return, Tsukishima gets a sudden up-close view of a freckled cheek as Yamaguchi lets his forehead fall forward to press against the blond's, a desperate-sounding whine escaping him. Tsukishima repeats the movement, and starts up a punishing rhythm tha has them both panting in seconds. Determined not to come first, Tsukishima lets a hand drift up Yamaguchi's abdomen and thumbs deliberately over a nipple. Yamaguchi's entire body arches into the touch and that's pretty much all it takes._

_By this point, their bodies are plastered together so hard that Tsukishima can feel every part of Yamaguchi's body tense as he comes. He also feels, more than hears, his friend as he lets out a strangled shout of,_

_"K-Kei!"_

_Hearing Yamaguchi say his given name is a thousand times hotter than it has any right being, and sends a sharp bolt of pleasure straight down Tsukishima's body. Before he can process it, his hips are stuttering wildly as he comes. Hard._

_As he comes down from his orgasmic high, he expects the ringing in his ears to ease off. It doesn't. Tsukishima frowns as the ringing gets louder and louder until he- ___

__Tsukishima woke up with a start. And an uncomfortable stickiness in his boxers. And, as he started to process what had just happened, an intense urge to slam his head against something hard._ _

__Repeatedly._ _


	2. The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... I'm just sorry
> 
> The next chapter will be better I promise

If Tsukishima's dream the previous night had been a (albeit unwanted and utterly mortifying) taste of heaven, school the next day was hell. 

First period had been nothing short of torture. As if Phys Ed lessons, which  mainly constituted as mindlessly running round a field for 45 minutes, weren't bad enough under usual circumstances, today he had the aftereffects of _that dream _to contend with. In the changing rooms Tsukishima had to fight with himself to keep his eyes fixed on his own body and ignore the tantalising rustle of Yamaguchi changing next to him. He told himself that the key to forgetting was disassociating his best friend with anything remotely sexual; that meant no interaction with him whatsoever until the boy put some god damn clothes on. He also told himself that if he did, however, happen to catch a glimpse of freckle-smattered limbs in his peripheral vision then, well, it couldn't really be helped (and yes, apparently Yamaguchi really did have freckles everywhere)__

____(Tsukishima had nearly tripped over his own feet when he realised that he'd unconsciously started to hang back around lap 3 in order to get a better look at Yamaguchi's ass in his running shorts)_ _ _ _

____Second period hadn't progressed much better. In some ways it had been even worse; given that Tsukishima had breezed through his maths classes practically since he'd been able to write numbers, the calculus questions set by his teacher were a thoroughly inadequate distraction from the kid in front of him. At least the running shorts had provided some conceivable reason for attraction -  by all accounts Yamaguchi's ass had looked pretty good - but now honestly Tsukishima had no excuse for his preoccupation. Honestly, there should not have been anything remotely sexy about watching his best friend doing maths, or judging by he steady rise and fall of his shoulders, sleeping whilst pretending to do his maths. But still, Tsukishima found himself reluctantly transfixed by the pale but capable looking digits of Yamaguchi's right hand as they loosely curled around his pencil and the acute angle of skin revealed between the place where his collar creased and a part of his hair had been ruffled upwards. Had Yamaguchi been sitting more upright in his chair, a whole strip of his neck would have been visible for Tsukishima to stare at, maybe to run his fingers across as he counted the crowds of freckles._ _ _ _

____Jerked from his thoughts by the sound of the bell, Tsukishima realised what he had been doing and proceeded to think intensely about stabbing himself with his mechanical pencil._ _ _ _

____By the time lunch had rolled around, Tsukishima was considerably irked. And entirely on edge. So much so, in fact, that all it took from Yamaguchi was a smile and a quick 'Hi, Tsukki', for Tsukishima to panic and push out from his chair abruptly, picking up his bento and high-tailing it the hell out of their classroom. As he sat down in a secluded corner behind one of the sport facility buildings, Tsukishima realised that his regrettably lame retreat from the classroom had probably shattered his classmates' view of his carefully crafted cool-and-indifferent persona. He also realised, somewhat more painfully, that Yamaguchi was probably sitting in the classroom, eating his lunch alone. Knowing Yamaguchi, he was also probably worried about Tsukishima and under the assumption that he'd done something wrong._ _ _ _

____The train of thought kind of put Tsukishima off of his lunch, and he discarded it in favour of tipping his head back to study the cloud - streaked sky and wondering exactly which divine powers were conspiring to ruin his god damn life._ _ _ _

____All of which had lead Tsukishima to this. Volleyball practice._ _ _ _

____Honestly, Tsukishima had considered skipping, he had. But there was still some defiant (stupid) part of him that refused to be beaten by the whole ordeal. So by the time he walked into practice, Tsukishima had convinced himsrlf that he could overcome this. It was just a dream. He was 6' 2" for god sake! He didn't get intimidated. Especially not by figments of his unconscious imagination._ _ _ _

____Hinata, however, apparently disagreed._ _ _ _

____The jumping shrimp was on top of Tsukishima the minuted he stepped in the door, accosting him with am exceedingly loud yell,_ _ _ _

____"Tsukishima, what's wrong, you look tired - can you still play volleyball?? If I'm tired I can't do the _wham _thing properly, you know? And you kind of look more not happy than normal... hey so did Yamaguchi! Did you two fight?!"___ _ _ _

______Tsukishima's eyes folowed the direction in which Hinata had flung his arm, landing upon Yamaguchi, who bore an expression similar to that of a kicked puppy. Sensing Tsukishima's gaze, Yamaguchi looked up, only to hurriedly look away as their eyes met, the latter's suspiciously damp-looking._ _ _ _ _ _

__________Deeming it unnecessary to reply to that particular nonsensical rambling, Tsukishima drifted past the obnoxious ginger with irritation, for once in his life itching to get into some volleyball, ready to take out some of his frustrations on the court. He vaguely registered Kageyama appearing from somewhere to join Hinata and the two of them start stretching together. With his usual lack of subtly, Hinata was evidently explaining his take on the situation to the dark-haired setter, flailing his arms around wildly and occasionally motioning in the direction of Tsukishima or Yamaguchi. Kageyama for the most part seemed indifferent, his eyes leaving Hinata every few seconds to drift over to the waiting volleyball court, before finally cutting the middle blocker off and dragging him towards the supply cupboard to retrieve the equpiment._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________As Tsukishima made his way over to the rest of the team, he was met with a variety of irksome expressions varying from nervous (Asahi) to motherly concern (Suga) to we-need-to-talk (Daichi). As expected, Daichi subtly motioned for him to come over, most likely to try and smooth things over, ever the responsible team leader. His face displayed both reassurance and impatience, a unique blend of emotions that amalgamated into something vaguely resembling someone suffering from constipation. Tsukshima caught a quick glance shared between Daichi and Suga, the pair obviously having already talked about the situation and come to a decision the team's parental figures. All at once, Tsukishima realised that he couldn't explain himself to Daichi, couldn't explain himself to anyone, and just generally couldn't deal with this right now, and spun swiftly on his heel, turning tail and running for the second time that day._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Once he had escaped from the gym and confirmed no one was coming after him, Tsukishima slowed his pace and lifted up his glasses, pressing the heels of his palms firmly against his closed eyes and scrubbing at them aggressively. He repeated the exercise until he stopped seeing kneepads being pulled over toned legs and freckled knees, and warm brown eyes shiny with moisture._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________When he eventually registered where he was going, Tsukishima realised he was at the park where he and Yamaguchi had first met. It was deserted, so didn't bother feeling embarassed as he walked over and claimed one of the swings. He scuffed his shoes against the ground as he gently started to swing. He tried to think about something other than freckles, and too-long mousy brown hair, and sharply angled elbows._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________By the time Tsukishima left it was dark._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	3. The Intervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY I SWEAR THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL ACTUALLY HAVE SOME TSUKIYAMA IN IT
> 
> See how I ever so subtly reference Suga/Daichi because I'm weak for that ship sorry you can tactfully ignore it if you don't feel the same I know you came for tsukiyama 
> 
> Fluff and smut (heavier on the latter) next chapter! !

Tsukishima feels sick when he reaches school the next day, and the feeling stays with him all day. Between ignoring anyone who tries to talk to him (not that there's that many who do - most people have got the hint by now that he's recalcitrant on a good day) and actively avoiding any and every member of the Karasuno volleyball team, by the end of the day Tsukishima is thoroughly exhausted.

As he makes his way out of his last class of the day, Tsukishima squeaks in a decidedly unmanly fashion as he is accosted by an uncharacteristically serious Sugawara as he appears out of nowhere, wordlessly pulling Tsukishima away from the stream of his classmates leaving the biology lab and towards a quieter part of the corridor. Tsukishima recognises the gentle demeanour and motherly sheen to the older boy's eyes before he even opens his mouth, and knows that Suga has likely been sent to follow up on the little chat Daichi had attempted to start with him yesterday. Admittedly, bringing out Karasuno's mother figure probably was a good tactic (and knowing Daichi, this definitely had been a planned tactical manoeuvre) as Tsukishima knew he would feel bad brushing off Suga in the way he'd done with the team captain yesterday. Especially if he kept staring at him with that particular brand of concerned sympathy.

"I just want to say, to start off with, that I may have completely misread the situation here - and if I have, honestly feel free to tell me. But... if the situation is what I think it is... well, let's just say it's something I have personal experience with and I'd like to think I might be able to help you a bit"

The hesitant tone in which Suga's opener is delivered already has Tsukishima's hackles raised. He is pretty much completely sure that he isn't going to like what his senpai has to say next, but regardless (Maybe after the crushing embarassment of yesterday his sense of self - preservation has been killed off altogether?) Tsukishima nods his head in a way to indicate the other boy should carry on.

"You and Yamaguchi are fighting. Or, something has gone wrong between you two at least. And neither of you are happy about it."

Tsukishima has the distinct feeling that this conversation is about to turn into a lecture about how he shouldn't abuse Yamaguchi's feelings, and immediately feels the need to cut in. Technically he hasn't even done anything wrong!

(unless having sex dreams about his clueless, innocent best friend counts as wrong, in which case...) 

"Look, me and Yamaguchi ju-"

Suga cuts him off with a stern glance, "No, Tsukshima, that's the part I'm sure about, I don't really need your input there. The part that I think you might have trouble with, but that actually am also pretty sure about, is that you're also actually in love with Yamaguchi. Or, at least have feelings for him beyond the platonic, if the L word is a bit much to process"

Tsukishima's brain shuts down. Him... in love with Yamaguchi? Sure, he dreamt about him naked one time but that doesn't mean he wants to marry the guy! He just wants everything to go back to normal between them, is all. 

Suga takes advantage of Tsukishima's momentary mental incapacitation by swiftly moving through to the next point on his agenda:

"You're probably feeling pretty confused about everything right now, I know. Separating out feelings of friendship from romantic ones can be difficult, especially if the person they revolve around has been your friend for a long time..."

Suga trails off slightly, his face taking on a vaguely whimsical expression as he pauses, seemingly caught up in recollection. As Tsukishima starts to gather his thoughts for rebuttal, Suga quickly regroups and cuts him off before he has a chance to begin, hastily moving on to a different tactic.

"No - Tsukishima - I know. You're thinking what do I know about it, how could I know what you're feeling? Well... its not something I'm necessarily advertising so I'd appreciate it if you'd keep this between us for now, but since it's... relevant to your situation I guess I can... well... what I wanted to say was that I understand because I have first hand experience moving from long-time best friend to, well, lover" 

Suga blushes at the last word, looking flustered for the first time in the conversation, before continuing,

"That is, male best friend and lover"

His eyebrows shoot up before Tsukishima can help it; he hadn't realised his senpai was gay. Although, now he considered it, he couldn't really imagine Suga in a relationship with a girl either. Then another thought hits him - is Suga's boyfriend someone he knows, someone on the team? A quick analysis of the Karasuno volleyballers doesn't immediately highlight any potential candidates but, then again, Tsukishima hadn't realised Suga even had a boyfriend until he was just told so maybe he isn't as intuitive as he thought. Before Tsukishima can cut in to ask, however, Suga is steaming ahead again, seemingly determined not to let Tsukishima get a word in edgeways.

"Anyway, my point is,  I know how you feel,  and if I had someone to give me advice I think the whole process would have gone smoother in my case so... anyway,  even if you think I'm crazy and the only thing you feel for Yamaguchi is completely platonic friendship,  my advice is still the same. Just talk to him. Be honest with him. Unless I'm overstating the closeness of you're relationship here, although I think it's pretty obvious to anyone who watches the two of you interact with each other that I'm not, there is not much you could say to Yamaguchi that would make him anything less than adoring of you. And... if I was right, about your... other feelings for him, then, for the record,  I'm also pretty sure they're reciprocated. So... just, do your best,  okay?" 

Suga ends his speech with one of his patented dazzling smiles, before quickly patting Tsukishima on the back and rushing off back down the corridor. Tsukishima is left in the deserted hallway,  with a strangled protest dying in his throat and the unmistakable signs of a headache starting behind his temples. 

Partly, Tsukishima lingers on Suga's confession and the details mysteriously left unsaid. Mostly, however, he thinks about his senpai's advice, and the motherly affection with which it was delivered.

He realises that, for once, he isn't suspicious of alterior motives or everything turning out to be some kind of elaborate joke. With Suga's kind, earnest expression in his mind,  Tsukishima kind of believes that the other boy just wanted the best for him. The thought makes his chest bloom with something warm, that feels kind of new and uncomfortable, but not necessarily bad. As Tsukishima replays their conversation, the warmth grows until he's sporting a full - body blush. 

Does he really... feel... that way towards Yamaguchi? 

He thinks of the first time he met Yamaguchi, that little, helpless, freckled runt of a kid, mercilessly teased by the bigger kids. He thinks of a slightly older Yamaguchi, following him around and beaming at him whenever they talked, handing him a present wrapped in dinosaur - patterned wrapping paper for the first of his birthdays they spent as friends, and for every other birthday after that. He thinks of a more recent Yamaguchi at the Tokyo training camp, a flush burning bright behind his freckles as he tells him, with so much confidence, that he doesn't need to be afraid to want something, or to work hard for his dreams.

Tsukishima loses count of how many different memories of Yamaguchi he thinks of as he stands there. Eventually,  the shrill noise of the school bell pierces through his reverie and he jolts into action as two things are immediately clear.

1) Sugawara Koushi was right. About everything.

2) He has a lot more thinking to do if he's going to be ready to make things right tomorrow.

With the latter thought in his mind, Tsukishima started to make his way home, his chest feeling considerably lighter than it had all day. He knew, technically, nothing had been fixed yet. But hopefully, by this time tomorrow, it would be.

Well that, Tsukishima thinks sourly, or I'm rejected and I end up making even more of a fool of myself than I already have and completely ruin my life past the point of any saving.


	4. The Creative Block

BASICALLY I thought I had ideas for how the last chapter would pan out and then I tried to write it and all the fluff came out crappy (don't worry the smut is under control)...

Sooo I don't know how many (if any lol) people are following this storyline right now but if you have any ideas for the fluffy part of the next chapter (e.g. Tsukki apologising/confessing to Yams) please comment them on this chapter!! 

And if you want to wait until the chapter comes out to see what happens in it obviously avoid the comments here because that's what it will be based off of :) 

((Also sorry I know this sucks but it's exam period for me and revision has sucked my creative juices dry))

xoxoxo


	5. The Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki confesses! There are tears! There's blushing! There's flustered boys! The ending is so bad but the confession part came out so long I had to cut the chalter before the smut started!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ty for everyone who commmented and helped me out and this really is unforgivably late so thanks to anyone who didn't give up and is still reading (sorry you didn't deserve this)
> 
> And apparently I am incapable of writing a confession scene without dragging it out for an indecently long amount of time the smut will come in the next chaper
> 
> I have told so many lies about how many chapters this fic would take lol but honestly this time this is the second to last so enjoooyy xoxo
> 
> I just realised for some reason I have written this chapter in past tense even though the rest of the fic is in present tense! I don't know why I did this! Maybe when I have time I'll go through and change it all to present tense but I just finished writing this chapter and it's half 2 in the morning so that time is not now (sorry!!)
> 
> I'm posting this on my birthday so be nice lol

Two days. It's been two whole days since his conversation with Suga and subsequent enlightenment and Tsukishima has achieved exactly nothing towards getting Yamaguchi back as his best friend, never mind all the other (Tsukishima blushes unvoluntarily as his mind casts back to the accursed dream that had caused all of this for the upteenth time this week) less platonic things he wanted Yamaguchi as. Despite the predicament having practically taken up full time residence in the foreground of his thoughts, Tsukshima was no closer to being able to express himself to his best friend the way he knew he needed to.

The thing is, Tsukishima has never been a person who's been up front about his feelings. In fact, if he hadn't recently been shown the depth of his feelings for a certain shy, freckled brunet Tsukishima would have sworn to anyone that at some point the cool disaffected demeanor he emanated has ceased to be an act and he had, in all seriousness, stopped feeling deep emotions altogether. He had always been the one standing at the side looking on with mocking eyes, usually making some sort of snide remark to Yamaguchi, when faced with other people's awkward confessions and, even worse, barely repressed tensions (read here: the unbearable UST between setter boy wonder and his partner Sunshine-kun). Tsukishima was having a particularly hard time staying sane at volleyball practice, which had become an entirely less enjoyable experience without a Yamaguchi to laugh at his sarcastic asides and relentless meaningful looks being sent his way from the senpai power couple from hell (now that he had pretty much had it spelled out for him he was incredulous at how he hasn't noticed Suga and Daichi’s relationship before).

Today's practice had been particularly trying; he had been assigned to practising his blocking for nearly the entire session, leaving him with no opportunities to let out some of his pent up frustrations by hitting some spikes. Worse still, he had been put on the same team as Yamaguchi in their practise match, meaning that the entire time he had the prickly awareness of the other boy’s eyes on him at the back of his neck or, equally bad, had to resolutely focus on looking anywhere other than the rise of Yamaguchi’s shirt as he jumped for block or the stretch of tanned limbs as he ducked low to receive. The entire ordeal had been painful, made worse by Tsukishima's acute awareness that he was playing really, really shit volleyball. 

Sure that his teammates must have noticed it too and entirely unwilling to sit through a conversation about his performance (or lack thereof), he had run out if practice immediately, pausing only to snatch his bag out of the locker room. Having got home, he had showered and changed before picking up his favourite pastime as of late: thinking about how to get Yamaguchi to forgive him. As such, he barely registered his mother’s calling up to him to say she was going out shopping to get something for dinner, replying only with a vague noise of acknowledgement. 

Tsukishima was so deep in his reverie that he only became aware of the knocking on his front door when it had become increasingly loud and impatient. Making his way downstairs to open the door lethargically, Tsukishima didn't even bother to glance up at the door as he let his mother in, intoning a bland,

“Jesus no need to break the door down… Anyway shouldn't you have your keys?”

“Um, Tsukki, it's not…”

Tsukishima felt every limb freeze in place as he registered the voice coming from behind him, a voice that definitely did not belong to his mother. He quickly whipped his head around and came face to face with the object of his every waking (and, needless to say, occasionally sleeping) thought, flustered but resolute on his doorstep. Tsukishima's eyes widened as he took in the figure of his best friend, panicked thoughts of how he wasn't prepared yet running endlessly across his mind even as he opened his mouth to speak. However, before he could say anything, Yamaguchi interrupted his inner turmoil.

“Tsukki, you don't need to say anything yet, just listen to me for a second. I know something happened and I know you're avoiding me… you don't have to explain yourself or anything, I just. I just wanted to tell you-” 

Yamaguchi broke off suddenly and Tsukishima watched in horror as his big, expressive eyes started to glaze over with unshed tears. Again, Tsukishima opened his mouth to say something, feeling an overwhelming need to comfort his friend, to prevent the tears collecting at the corners of his eyes, perilously close to leaking out. Yamaguchi, however, was clearly determined to finish his speech, steam rolling over the beginnings of Tsukishima's stumbling reassurances.

“I just wanted to tell you that whatever it was that I did wrong - I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Tsukki and I just want us to go back to how we were before because I miss you and…”

Yamaguchi had slowly moved his eyes downward over the course of his words, a slow blush spreading across his cheeks until every inch of skin viable above the collar of his shirt was a vibrant pink. Suddenly, Yamaguchi met Tsukishima's eyes again as a new wave of confidence swept over his countenance and he spoke more resolutely than Tsukishima had ever heard him before. 

“I miss you, Tsukki, and you're my oldest and best friend. And I don’t know what I'd do if you stopped being friends with me. So I'm not letting you. You need to stop being stupid and tell me what's wrong so I can fix it, okay?”

The last word of Yamaguchi's speech was punctuated with a large clear tear rolling down his left cheek, and Tsukishima, for all his skill in observation and deduction, could not have decoded the amalgamation of emotions displayed on his friend’s face. And amongst all the grand romantic gestures and declarations Tsukishima had trialed and discarded in his mind, only one seemed appropriate. 

Stepping forward, Tsukishima brushed away the tears from Yamaguchi’s face, watching as the transparent drops blurred and distorted the image of the freckled skin underneath. He then folded both arms around his friend, his long limbs encircling Yamaguchi completely, and pulled him into a tight embrace. Leaning down slightly to be heard, he spoke the only words that he could think of to remedy the situation, two words that he couldn't remember saying to anyone since he was a child:

“I'm sorry”

There was a long moment of suspended silence in the hallway in which Tsukishima swore he couldn't move, even to breathe. Then slowly, uncertainly, Yamaguchi's arms snaked round Tsukishima's waist and, with a barely noticeable hitch of breath, let his head relax into the taller boy’s shoulder. They stayed like that for what felt like an hour, the only sound between them the quiet sighs of their slow breathing, as they collapsed into one another. 

Eventually, Tsukishima stepped back so that the pair moved apart, aware that actions could only go so far, and that there was still a lot that had gone unspoken between them. Yamaguchi blinked up at him, eyes still vaguely watery as he stared at Tsukishima uncertainly.

“Tsukki… does this mean we're friends again?”

With a jolt Tsukishima realised that in fact, nothing had been resolved at all. Of course. Friends. Yamaguchi only wanted to be friends,that was all. A sharp pain clawed down Tsukishima's throat as he struggled against his original plan to confess, the fear of Yamaguchi's rejection and the resulting permanent chasm in their relationship striking him mute. Before he knew what was happening, warm hands were gripping his shoulders as he felt warm liquid run down his cheeks and tasted the sea at the corners of his mouth. Blinking rapidly, Tsukishima felt himself be forcibly pulled down so that he was face to face with Yamaguchi, who's warm brown eyes were wide with shock and concern as they darted between Tsukishima's own. Suddenly unable to think past the proximity between them, Tsukishima moved forward in a trance, before softly pressing his lips against his friend’s. His eyes fell shut as a calm warmth suffused through him, building at the point of contact between the two.

He was pulled out of his trance like state by a soft noise of surprise emitted from the boy in front of him, and, realising what he had been doing, Tsukishima stepped back sharply. As he reality of having just ruined everything set in, Tsukishima rubbed at his face vigorously, the sticky feeling of drying tears on his face and neck suddenly making him nauseous. As he did so he babbled inanely, an endless stream of apologies and self castigation falling from his mouth, his words equally as frantic as his actions. 

After a frozen pause, Yamaguchi’s hands reached up and encircled Tsukishima's wrists, halting the movements of his hands. He gave Tsukishima a gentle, reassuring smile and, Tsukishima thought, it may only have been a week but it felt like an age since he'd been the recipient of that smile and he hadn't realised until now how much he'd missed it. Slowly, like he was calming a frightened animal, Yamaguchi moved their joined hands down between them, and intertwined their fingers. 

“Tsukki… you don't have to apologise. I feel the same way - I mean - me too, I want to do… that kind of stuff with you two. I li-” 

Abruptly, Yamaguchi cut himself off, the pink that had been fading from his cheeks again bleeding across his face at his (aborted) confession. Feeling pretty pathetic that Yamaguchi had basically done all the hard work here conversation wise, while he had managed about two words before breaking down like a complete loser, Tsukishima took a deep breath and prepared himself, chanelling his inner romantic male lead in what would undoubtedly be the worst rom com in existence. 

“I know I fucked up there but - just let me say this please. Yamaguchi- Tadashi, I like you. Obviously I don't want to stop being your friend; you said I was your oldest and best friend but in my case, if we're being honest, you're my only friend. But, recently I realised… or I guess, more like had it thrust upon me, that I also like you as more than that. A romantic kind of like. And I know you, Tadashi, you're a nice person so you'll probably stay friends with me even if the thought of me liking you like that completely disgusts you. You might even go along with it just to make me happy. Please don't - just tell me honestly what you want and I'll do it. I'll be happy whatever you say… even if you don't want to see me for a week or a month till you can get used to it. As long as we can at least go back to the way we were before, I don't mind. I just didn't want to lie to you and mess everything up like I have for the past week…”

In the silence that followed,Tsukishima felt his face heat so aggressively that he was instinctively certain that he was currently sporting a blush so intense that his face was now the colour of a steamed beetroot. Tentatively, he met Yamaguchi's eyes, and was met by an expression which he could only describe as being the closest to angry that Tsukishima had ever seen him. Brows furrowed delicately, Yamaguchi frowned up at him before replying,

“Tsukki, you- you are such an idiot”

Without warning, Tsukishima was tackled into the nearest wall and pulled into a clumsy yet enthusiastic kiss. When they parted, Tsukishima's brain was apparently still reluctant to accept this turn of events, and he found himself talking again,

“Wait, so, to be clear, you want to be my boyfriend? Like you want to go on dates to see movies, and have picnics, and go to nice restaurants for dinner and, like, I don't know… feed the ducks at the park together? Because I do. Want that. I think. Well maybe not the ducks thing because I always thought that was lame and embarassing but-”

“Yes, Tsukki, I want to do that kind of stuff with you. Even though you're mean and snarky to everyone and I think you're probably emotionally retarded, I like you. But right now I'm pretty sure there's only one thing I want to do with you.”

Tsukishima felt his throat close up momentarily as he took in the bedroom eyes Yamaguchi was sending his way. Holy shit.

“Okay, yeah, that sounds- let's go upstairs”


	6. The Filthy Smut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ThIs is a disgustingly late update I know... 
> 
> Thanks for everyone who stuck with me through this and commented/kudos'd without you guys god knows this never would have got finished
> 
> Everything I write is un-beta'd so if you find any mistakes and want to let me know pls do and I'll fix it! 
> 
> ANYWAY please have some smut and hope you enjoy xx

Holding Yamaguchi's hand and leading him upstairs to his bedroom (ridiculously, because the other boy had spent so much time at Tsukki's house he knew exactly where he was going without any help), Tsukishima felt himself falling back into his nervous habit of completely overanalysing the situation. Why had he immediately assumed Yamaguchi had meant sexual stuff when he said that? His best friend was one of the most innocent people he knew; the brunet had probably just meant he wanted to watch a movie or play a video game or something! Tsukishima couldn't even bear to look back and see the other boy's reaction to being manhandled around the Tsukishima household, by now certain that he'd read the situation wrong and completely ashamed at his own eagerness to corrupt his pure, innocent best friend. 

A second passed before he realised he'd just been standing, static, at the threshold of his room for an indeterminate amount of time. Stiffly, still unwilling to face the boy he'd just confessed to, Tsukki started to turn around but was stopped by a warm, solid weight at his back, holding him in place. Yamaguchi's arms slid round his waist as he hugged him from behind, and Tsukishima felt the smaller boy rise up on his tiptoes to murmur in his ear, 

"Don't worry Tsukki - I haven't done this before either. I know that if it's with you, whatever we do I'll like it so... it's okay."

Without even seeing his face, Tsukishima could hear the blush in Yamaguchi's voice and, with a sudden burst of confidence, he quickly moved, pulling both himself and Yamaguchi into his bedroom and closing the door behind them. Backing Yamaguchi up into said door, Tsukishima took a moment to take in the other boy’s face flushed with embarassment and surprise, tip of his nose still noticably red and delicate skin under his eyes slightly puffy from his earlier tears. Running his hands along Yamaguchi's slim arms, Tsukishima picked both limbs up and placed them over his own shoulders to link around his neck. Moving in closer, he moved one of his own arms round Yamaguchi's waist, his other hand migrating up his body to hover uncertainly in front of his face. Taking a deep breath, he replied,

"For now, let's just carry on from where we left off"

Finally allowing his hand to land on the other boy's still flushed cheek, Tsukishima threw caution to the wind and leaned in to press his mouth against Yamaguchi's own. Allowing his hand to drop and join the other round Yamaguchi's waist, Tsukki leaned further into the kiss, feeling his mind blank of everything as he felt Yamaguchi's breath hitch slightly as the smaller boy shifted further into him. They stayed that way for what felt like hours to Tsukishima, completely consumed within Yamaguchi's arms, and probably would have stayed that way for hours longer had he not been startled by the sudden feeling of Yamaguchi's tongue sliding against his lip. From the deer-in-the-headlights expression on the brunet's face, Tsukishima could see that it had been an accident but... running his tongue over the same spot, chasing the tingles left there, he realised that it definitely hadn't been a mistake. 

Diving back in to Yamaguchi's mouth with renewed vigour, Tsukishima tried to replicate the movement of Yamaguchi's tongue against his a moment before, starting slowly to keep the comfortable rhythm that they had created. Both boys growing more confident, Tsukishima barely registered the kiss building heat as he pressed forward, trapping Yamaguchi between his body and the door more firmly. The resulting whimper from the other boy fanned the fite in Tsukishima's body even further and he allowed his arms to break their hold around Yamaguchi's waist to wander over his body in order to prise that noise from him again. At the same time, Tsukishima broke their kiss to mouth slick pathways down all the tan, freckled skin he could reach between Yamaguchi's chin and the collar of his shirt, stopping every so often to bite and suck a mark into a particularly tempting area. One such mark sucked gently into the area underneath the hinge of Yamaguchi's jaw succeeded in procuring another noise from the boy, this time louder and throatier, a groan that went straight to Tsukishima's dick. 

At the same time, one of Tsukishima's hands brushed lightly over the smaller boy's nipples, iliciting such a reaction in Yamaguchi, even through the layers of clothes, that Tsukishima had to hold them steady as the brunet's entire body bowed towards him. The unexpected movement pushed one of Yamaguchi's legs between Tsukishima's own, and he couldn't help but let out a pained noise of his own as the fleeting friction against his erection was lost. Leaving one hand to explore Yamaguchi's chest further, Tsukishima brought the other down to palm against the increasingly obvious bulge in the other's uniform trousers. Feeling Yamaguchi's sharp inhalation against his neck, Tsukishima was just about to lean back and murmur something smug when the smaller boy firmly ground his thigh forward, punching the breath out of Tsukishima at the sudden feeling of pressure exactly where he needed it. 

Tsukishima couldn't even bring himself to be embarassed at the most likely ridiculous noise that he had just emitted, instinctively grinding forwards again on to Yamaguchi's volleyball-toned thigh. Pausing slightly, Yamaguchi lifted his head to look at Tsukishima, breathily asking,

"Okay?"

Tsukishima leant his forehead against Yamaguchi's as he shuddered, murmuring an endless stream of 'yeah, good, perfect, you're so good' into the other boy in response. Had they not been pressed so close into each other, Tsukishima might have missed Yamaguchi's shiver and quick intake of breath following his words. Luckily, even in this state he was sharp enough to know what had just happened. The idea that Yamaguchi had a praise kink was just about enough to undo him if he thought too much about it as he was now, so Tsukki quickly filed that one away under 'things to remember for next time'. 

Realising that the whole situation was spiraling out of hand faster than he could regain control of it, Tsukishima sped up the movements of his hand, matching the jerks of Yamaguchi's hips. Feeling his orgasm approaching, and completely unable to slow the movements of his hips in order to stave it off, Tsukishima moved his mouth back to Yamaguchi's neck, determined to make the smaller boy feel as good as he was. As his mouth found that same spot below Yamaguchi's jaw, he felt the brunet's entire body seize up as he came with a quiet call of,

"Kei!"

Hearing his name and feeling Yamaguchi draw up against him hit Tsukishima all at once, and he was suddenly hit with once again seeing the end of his dream. Both reality and his memories of the dream mingled into one and, overwhelmed, Tsukishima followed Yamaguchi over the edge. 

They stood there, collapsed into one another until Tsukishima had caught his breath to say, intelligently,

"Tadashi... that was... wow..."

With a fond look, Yamaguchi looked up at Tsukishima and replied,

"Tsukki, can we move now, I feel sticky and gross and its kind of ruining the moment"

Agreeing, Tsukishima gingerly untangled himself and sent Yamaguchi to get some wet towels for them to clean up with while he got them both changes of clothes. As he started to sort through his wardrobe, looking for something that would fit Yamaguchi's considerably shorter legs, he noticed the other boy had stopped by the door and looked up at him questioningly. Yamaguchi smiled at him and as he made his way out into the hallway said,

"I just wanted to say - Thanks Tsukki!"

He beamed at Tsukishima quickly before heading along the hallway to the bathroom. Tsukishima felt his whole body heat with embarassment and heard himself stutter indignantly as he yelled,

"What- who the hell says that after sex! You don't just thank people for- Tadashi!!"

Yamaguchi came back into the room holding two damp hand towels and threw one at Tsukishima before breaking into a smile so sweet Tsukishima was sure that the smaller boy knew exactly what he was doing, before replying,

"I just want to say thanks for being you Tsukki! I want to say thanks for that all the time, because I like you"

Tsukishima let his head fall against the wardrobe in front of him as he felt the full body blush emerge all over him at Yamaguchi's words. He had it so bad, it was embarassing. But when he looked over his shoulder and saw the little shit trying to hold back his laughter, unapologetically amused at his boyfriends' reaction, Tsukishima couldn't really bring himself to care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What don't tell me you were expecting actual sex?? These two are way too pure to go straight from confessing to fucking!
> 
> (Ngl I still want to write actual sex though so if you guys are feeling it I might do a one year anniversary one shot kind of thing??)


	7. The Plan (Anniversary Epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the boys' anniversary and a couple of cherries are bout to be popped...
> 
> Except of course nothing ever goes smoothly because Tsukishima continues to be himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this was meant to be a one shot but.... apparently I'm incapable of writing smut without writing at least 2 chapters of context prior to the smut so that's that
> 
> This little 1 year anniversary epilogue bit is probably gonna be 3 chapters so just hold out for that last chapter of smut guys
> 
> (This is literally ridiculous I'm so sorry)

Tsukishima looked in the mirror intently and indulged in a long-suffering sigh. He was so lame. Emotions were so lame. This whole situation was so lame. 

He slung a towel across his shoulders to catch the excess water dripping from his hair as he absently trailed his hand through the condensation blurring his reflection. His fingertip dragged through endless figure of eights as he contemplated how ridiculous he was being. He recalled barely registered advice from Akiteru about how communication was the most important part of any relationship. He thought of a smiling Yamaguchi telling him, you know you can talk to me about anything, right Tsukki? He recognised all these things whilst simultaneously resigning himself to the fact that he was still going to go through with the ridiculous plan he had concocted. The kind of plan that, had it (God forbid) been brought to the attention of the Karasuno volleyball team power couple, would probably prompt a frank eyebrow tilt from Daichi and one of Suga’s patented I'm-not-angry-I’m-disappointed glares. All this because, as Yamaguchi had told him so many times before, although on the whole he was ‘a pretty spectacular guy, intelligence wise’, his emotional intelligence was ‘kinda poor’.

The issue itself could be summed up in one simple word: sex. Generally, Tsukishima viewed himself a guy in control of himself, both emotionally and physically. But this whole new relationship dynamic with Yamaguchi still kept throwing him off balance. A relationship that was approaching one year long in (just under) a week. Tsukishima was not used to being the bashful one and, although technically he knew anniversaries were meant to be a mutual thing between couples, he was determined to use this opportunity to show he could take charge romantically.

Complicating matters further was Yamaguchi’s recent behaviour. Since they'd got together, their relationship had moved at a relatively slow pace, both of them agreeing that it had felt more natural to gradually work from platonic to romantic. But a couple of weeks earlier Yamaguchi has begun to drop hints that their year anniversary to go for the… metaphorical ‘home run’. Tsukishima wondered if there was a similar euphemism using a volleyball term. Spike? Kill? Why did they all sound so aggressive? 

To be more specific the sex itself wasn't the issue; the issue lay both in the fact that Tsukishima’s emotional intelligence continued to be severely lacking, and that his need for everything to go perfectly had lead to a not inconsiderable amount of panic gathering in Tsukishima throughout the last fortnight. The result of this panic was the plan that Tsukishima was about to put into action; to violate his boyfriend’s privacy by finding his porn and using it to find out what he likes in bed. It was to be a case of the end justifying the less than moral means. He hoped.

Steeling himself to not give anything away, Tsukishima left the bathroom and went back to his boyfriend’s room, where Yamaguchi was lazing on his bed. He poked his head out from behind the laptop he had open in front of him as Tsukishima entered, 

“Hey Tsukki, you done?”

Tsukishima nodded, leaning up against the door frame in an attempt to look casual as he fought the urge to sweep the room with his eyes in anticipation of his upcoming reconnaissance mission. Yamaguchi gave him a look that was equal parts bemused and entertained at the position and shut the computer. 

Realising that he had literally never looked less casual in his life, Tsukishima straightened up and walked up to Yamaguchi, dropping a kiss on his cheek and replying,

“All yours”

Once Yamaguchi had left the room, Tsukishima quickly got dressed for bed and looked around, internally debating his first move. Technically his stash could be anywhere in the entire room and, Yamaguchi not being the most organised guy ever, searching through all that kitschy mess would definitely take too long. But wasn’t having physical porn pretty out of the ordinary in this day and age anyway? He settled cross-legged on the bed and opened up Yamaguchi’s laptop. Staring at the old photo of them that Yamaguchi had set as his desktop background, Tsukishima realised that finding something as private as porn in the midst of hundreds of folders and thousands of files was just as arduous a task as physically searching the room. 

But then… this was Yamaguchi; his boyfriend was so honest and open that he couldn't picture him burying his porn within endless pathways of hidden folders and digital subterfuge. In a sudden flash of blind hope, Tsukishima opened up the history tab on chrome and typed “porn” into the search bar. Unbelievably, around 10 links came up from earlier that day and, baffled at his own good fortune, Tsukishima quickly opened them all in separate (muted) tabs. He would see what they were mainly about, maybe watch one quickly, and then at least he could get some kind of idea on what Yamaguchi wanted from him. 

The first tab loaded and Tsukishima blanked. What the hell was ‘sounding’. He squinted at the thumbnail, trying to ascertain what exactly was going on. Having no luck, and gleaning nothing from the incredibly vague tags below, he clicked play, eyes flicking surreptitiously to the doorway. The way the video started was pretty standard and nondescript, some random faceless guy rubbing his hard dick. Tsukishima clicked to halfway through the video, hoping to get to the main action.

At that point, several things happened almost simultaneously. The first was Tsukishima getting a split-second, up close and personal view of what looked like a thin metal rod slowly entering the aforementioned dick, closely followed by the door bumping open to reveal a freshly showered Yamaguchi, all rounded off by Tsukishima choking on air and spastically pressing ctrl-W until all the tabs had disappeared. 

Yamaguchi sped round the side of the bed and firmly smacked him on the back until the threat of death had passed, before fixing him with a weird look. 

“Was just trying to say something… choked on spit,”

Tsukishima offered weakly, throat still rasping aggressively. He closed the laptop as Yamaguchi started telling him about a conversation he, Hinata and Kenma had been having on their group chat. He tried to listen to what his boyfriend was saying but the only thing his brain could focus on was the glimpse of the video he'd just seen and…

… what the hell?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe at some point I'll go back and proof read this ... until then sorry about all the typos and shit  
> Also idk how to italic on this so oops some things should be italicized whatever xoxo


End file.
